Zola the Gypsy’s Gift Guide

Buying a holiday present is a total pain in the derriere, right?  It’s probably why the suicide rate goes up during the holidays.  So what to do?

UD ZOLA SPEAKS - Holiday Gift GuideYou could buy that special him, her, or yourself (let’s not kid ourselves about who’s really special) a bottle of wine, but since you understand wine about as well as you understand the Higgs boson particle, that won’t work. Fortunately, you are a runner; this makes it easy. Zola has you covered; here’s what you do:

Gerber

Is that special someone of the female persuasion?

VestaThe Ultra Vesta is the ticket. Can’t go wrong – it’s indigo (make sure you don’t say it’s “purple” – very déclassé), which is a very cool color, and ensures you won’t borrow it from her and get it all dirty. Plus it won’t fit you, because it was carefully designed specifically to fit ladies. There are pockets everywhere for all those things women like to carry and guys can’t fathom, and it’s really comfortable. The Ultra Vesta was designed by Jenny Jurek, Scott’s wife, so it really is that combination of technical and stylistic perfection, and it gets rave reviews (“Gear of the Year”), so with the Vesta you can relax, knowing you aren’t totally screwing up the present – like you did last year (the Skil Saw was a bad idea).

For that special guy (like for example, YOU)

AKThe SJ Ultra Vest can’t be beat. It’s the best-selling hydration pack in the US, and possibly the known universe. It’s really light, has features and hidden features that will keep you occupied discovering them for hours, and oh, it works really well. Scott Jurek designed it, and you know the 7-time winner of the Western States 100 doesn’t mess around. It’s companion piece is the AK Race Vest, which the hunky Jesus himself designed, and this Vest is so easy and comfortable people are wearing it mountain biking, skiing, and running, starting at anything over 2 hours. Then there’s the PB Adventure Vest for when you want to get gone, like, “Forget this; I’m outta here.”  You know what I mean.

Every hydration company in the world is now copying the Signature Series, but Zola did them first, so don’t you go foolin’ ’round with anything else now, ya hear me?

Vests

For that someone who likes to have a really good time

Ultimate Direction has their  20 oz Kicker Cap Water Bottles.  You can buy a few dozen, fill them with beer, and have an amazing Christmas party.  The Kicker Valve is very cool, and nobody can spill their drink – think of it as an adult sippy cup.

For the non-runner

Your best option here is to convert them to running. Get them going with the Fastdraw handhelds, which come in the best colors. Everyone can use these – There’s a Fastdraw with the 20 oz bottle, one with the 10 oz bottle, and especially good for this time of year, especially if you’re unlucky enough to live in some freezing-cold, Godforsaken place like Buffalo, the Fastdraw Extreme, which has a comfy and insulative covering. Since the Extreme is also good for keeping your water cool in the heat of the summer, this is actually a very nifty item that too few runners have figured out, so you should figure it out for them.

Fastdraw

For that someone you wish was special, but so far isn’t, despite your best efforts

FP30The Fastpack 20.  Yeah!  You say you don’t go fast-packing? Exactly; that’s the point. Get them this, and take him or her to Cozumel instead, using the FP20 as the most stylish and effective carry-on bag ever. This is a way better plan than sleeping on the cold hard ground and eating freeze-dried whatever that tastes like packing styrofoam; if that’s what you’ve been trying, no wonder you’re still lonely and single. Get with it dude or dudette; the FP20 is perfect for a quick weekend in the Sierras or a quickie quick weekend in Sayulita.

 

Still have no friggin’ idea what to do?

You’re sort of hopeless; is that it?  So get a hat.  Hats are super simple, super cheap, and you can’t go wrong. A Visor, which comes in purple indigo or blue cyan, or the Ultralight Hat which is made of white wicking mesh with a really long bill for shading, or the Midcap beanie to keep the chill off on those pre-dawn starts, or to wear 24/7 if you live in Minnesota.

Hat

Don’t be shy. You can do this; an easy decision is just a few clicks away on the BLUE highlights above, and you got ‘er done.  And if you already have this gear and can Comment on it, or just want to tell Zola to piss off, please Post your Comment below!